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Your Office Doesn’t Care About Your Health.
I do care about your health. I want to make sure you know as much as possible about serious diseases such as eye chlamydia. Your office doesn’t want you to know that. They want you to get eye...
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That Mango is Fresh
So, it seems that I have developed a bad habit of verbalizing my constant and ever-flowing stream of consciousness into my conversations with people. I’m pretty sure that while sometimes this can be...
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Things I Would Do If I Were Stuck In An Elevator
My company moved offices last week. Our old building had elevators that were covered in mirrors that made you look really fat. They hurt my self-esteem on a daily basis. So, I was pretty excited to...
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My Grocery Store Is Haunted.
I imagine they look something like this. The following account is completely true. (In my opinion) My company’s Thanksgiving potluck lunch is today. So, I spent yesterday baking pumpkin cupcakes and...
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A Weird Thing Happened In The Bathroom
I don’t know why I always end up witnessing bizarre public restroom behavior. Maybe it’s some kind of strange gift. First, it was a man in the women’s restroom and then it was the following incidents…...
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This Really Happens To Me. A lot.
If you have ever read this blog at all, you know I’m a frequent daydreamer. If this is the first post you’re reading of mine….well, I’m a frequent daydreamer. That seems redundant but I didn’t want...
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Up Yours, One-Uppers!
You know them. You loathe them. We all do. They are the One-Uppers. They are those that always have a better story, a worse sickness, a better car, a better haircut, a harder work assignment, a sexier...
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This Makes Me Really Proud. And Confused.
Kenny Rogers, the face of Girl on the Contrary I can’t decide whether Google is screwing with me or whether you people just get me. I hope it’s the second but, to be honest, it’s totally ok with me if...
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I Say Things Drunk People Say.
I had a revelation last week- I say things that drunk people say, but, well, I’m not drunk. So, that seems weird, no? Was I “born this way” as Lady Gaga would have me believe, or, was this odd habit...
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My Brain Just Exploded
I received a spam comment yesterday. And such a spam comment, I have never seen. It was a spam comment on any recommendations I might have to avoid spam comments. Spam to avoid spam!? BOOM. My brain...
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